I made these Delish Funfetti Cake Batter Blondies because regular blondies were getting bored and confetti deserves a dessert that behaves like a party in a pan. They’re chewy, sweet, suspiciously cake-y, and studded with rainbow sprinkles so your inner five-year-old can high-five your adult taste buds. Try them because baking joy shouldn’t require a degree in patience, and also because sprinkles solve many problems, including “I need dessert” and “I have leftover frosting.”

My husband once tried to help and used the measuring cup as a mixing spoon. He declared the batter “just right” and ate a spoonful—then pretended to faint dramatically when I reminded him raw flour is only for Instagram. My kid tried to “help” by decorating the cooled blondies with more sprinkles and a permanent marker. Long story short: we had a snack and a new abstract art piece. I laughed, cried, and put the marker in the junk drawer where all questionable choices go.

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Why You’ll Love This Delish Funfetti Cake Batter Blondies

– They’re basically cake and cookie had a baby and everyone RSVP’d “yes.”
– Sprinkles make everything emotionally better—even your Monday.
– They’re forgiving: overmix, underbake, or accidentally flirt with the stove and they’ll still be loved.
– Portable, shareable, and perfect for pretending you baked from scratch (I won’t tell).

Time-Saving Hacks

– Use a stand or hand mixer? Sure. Use a whisk and a strong Wi-Fi signal instead for moral support.
– Swap homemade brown butter for store-bought browned-butter-flavored butter? Judgement-free zone.
– Line the pan with foil instead of parchment to save a pan. Yes, it’s slightly barbaric but it peels off like magic.
– Mix dry and wet in the same bowl to cut one dish—just don’t tell anyone you did it that way.
– Use pre-shredded or frozen fruit for a fruity twist without the sticky cutting board.

Serving Ideas

– Pair with a cold glass of milk if you enjoy childhood nostalgia and questionable life choices.
– Serve with vanilla ice cream for dramatic dessert theater—use a spoon like you mean it.
– Bring them to a party and claim you’re “testing a recipe.” They’ll believe you.
– Serve with coffee if the kids drove you nuts; serve with wine if the kids drove someone else nuts.
– Honest note: most of the time I just sit on the couch and eat them directly from the pan. No shame.

What to Serve It With

– Coffee, milk, or a small parade of espresso shots depending on how awake you need to be.
– A scoop of ice cream if guests are coming and you want to impress. If they’re not, eat the ice cream and blondies together and call it a planned dessert strategy.

Tips & Mistakes

– Don’t overbake. Blondies should be chewy, not leather. Use a toothpick—when it comes out with a few moist crumbs, you’re golden.
– Sprinkles bleed color if you use too many while still-hot; wait until mostly cooled unless you like pastel batter stains.
– If your edges get too dark, tent the pan with foil and keep an eye on the center.
– If the batter looks runny, it’s probably fine—patience and time in the oven do the rest.

Storage Tips

Store it in the fridge… if there’s any left. Cold midnight leftovers? Sometimes better than fresh.
If you want them soft, keep them at room temp in an airtight container for up to 3 days; in the fridge for up to a week if you’re into self-control.

Variations and Substitutions

Swap whatever you want—sugar ↔ honey, soy sauce ↔ tamari, or skip steps and call it “deconstructed.” It still counts.
– Add chocolate chips for a classic power move.
– Fold in chopped nuts if you want your dessert to whisper “I’m responsible.”
– Use gluten-free flour cup-for-cup if needed—texture may vary but joy remains intact.

Frequently Asked Questions

I can’t have gluten… will this still work?

Yep. Use tamari or coconut aminos. You’ll survive and still brag about it online.

Do I have to peel the pineapple first?

Unless you enjoy chewing bark… yes, peel it. Your teeth will thank you.

Can I use canned pineapple instead of fresh?

Sure. Just drain it well or enjoy syrup soup. Still tasty, though.

How sweet is this? Can I tone it down?

Absolutely. Cut the sugar—or don’t, and embrace the sugar rush.

What if I skip the sesame oil?

Then you’ll miss the nutty vibe, but relax—it’s still food. You’ll live.

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